February of my 2027 calendar features this drawing and story. For a number of years Mary has been on the February page, because that’s Mary’s birthday and Mary does like to make an appearance. The apologies in the title are because I totally failed to get her into the actual picture this year! But there is a surprize waiting for her at the bottom of the calendar, as you’ll see below (Mary, in the unlikeley event you’re reading this, don’t look, be good, wait for your calendar.)
On Mary’s Birthday (with apologies to Mary)
Row and Laura approached the shore via the tricksy slipway. On windy days it takes a little skill getting out here: the waves push and pull, forwards, back and sideways, and the crumbling slipway is invisible beneath the tea-brown silty water. Fortunately, Hilary was there to assist them. A remarkable coincidence, you may think, that she arrived at exactly the same time.
Except it was no coincidence: Hilary had been standing there for the last 15 minutes, mostly up to her waist in turbulent waves, observing the water with interest and a kind of affectionate dislike. I’d spent the last 14 and a half minutes trying to persuade Hilary to actually swim in it. At one point it came up to her neck. “Ah, you’re swimming! Finally!” I declared. “No”, she said, and stood up again, the water once more around her waist.
Hilary, in her turn, had spent a good 12 minutes trying to interest me in the triangular form of the waves coming in as they hit the slipway, and insisted she was enjoying standing there trying to keep upright. It was a standoff. Finally, I gave up bobbing about out of my depth and declared that she was definitely going in the calendar standing waist-deep in water… for 15 minutes.
At that moment Row and Laura arrived, jolly happy and declaring that the sea was quite horrible and they were glad to be getting out of it, except, as I said, this can be quite difficult to achieve. And so here we were: Hilary helped them, I drew the picture. And to be fair, it’s a livelier drawing than the one of Hilary, just standing.
Everyone agreed it had been a lovely morning’s swim, apart from the actual minutes spent being in the actual sea, Hilary still insisting she’d enjoyed standing in the water and explaining the interesting triangular form of the waves as they hit the slipway. And because it was Mary’s birthday, we ate cake, crafted by Row into the shape of a bowl of chips.
Sometimes, I wonder if my friends are slightly weird.
