Apologies, venerable cactus,
that I do not have time to draw your portrait properly on your day of glory,
but the kitten is eyeing you beadily,
and I have work to do.
So you must return to your safe windowsill,
secure in the knowledge that you have outlived 6 cats already with no comment,
favouring us only with a rare spectacular display
to check that we are still paying attention.
Oh, and that I once spent 3 hours in A&E,
following an incident in which you were not entirely uninvolved.