Two Clowns, Down From Bristol.

I can’t recall exactly when this happened, some time last year. Still one of the best comments ever, particularly as I think Stella – unlike me – is not the sort to be deliberately rude about anyone and was instantly appalled at what she’d said…

“Two Clowns, Down From Bristol”

Hilary and I waited for Stella down at the beach. Which is to say that we stood there talking, for some time, in the expectation that Stella would also arrive.

Eventually Hillary read a message on her phone:
“Running late, see you in the sea…”
The tide does, famously, wait for no one, so eventually we decided to swim.

We got in, we swam to the pier, we swam along the pier to the end, where we faffed about enjoying the distance from the shore while taking reassurance from the nearness of the pier.

The iron structure towered over us and the water was at a very particular height:
“I like to do chin-ups” said Hilary, demonstrating her ability to achieve this particularly macho feat, whilst wearing fins and from a starting point of at least half her bodyweight in the water. This was a novel idea: I’d swum round the pier countless times but I’d never actually in fact touched it. But it’s solid, quite solid enough not to mind two ‘mermaids’ using it as an exercise bar.

Eventually we swam back to the shore and were surprised to see Stella just getting dried.
“You’re here! We missed you in the sea” we said.

Stella said she’d swum round the end of the pier but she hadn’t seen us either, though she’d looked out for us.
“We were just there” we said.
“Oh no, I didn’t see you, I only saw a couple of girls swinging about on the pier: Two clowns down from Bristol, I imagine…”