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“The Arrival of the Trifle”

And other important New Year’s Day traditions

And so once again we have made it to another year, and we are on Clevedon Beach for a celebratory swim. This has become a spectator sport: apparently it’s traditional now that others turn up to just watch the mad people get in the sea. In Clevedon, it’s also traditional that the regular swimmers avoid the nearby – and much cherished – Marine Lake if at all possible, for it will be mobbed with one-time jumpers-in, and local press not yet bored of reporting it and writing festive ‘wellness’ articles.

We are with our favourite people, in a place that we love, but of course it’s traditional that we eye the chilly water with something less than enthusiasm: it’s brown and muddy, like yesterday’s builders tea left out overnight, only not quite as appealing.

It’s traditional that Mary, having been in and out of the water with indecent efficiency, deserves to be smug about it and, dripping wet and cold, is likely to hug squealing latecomers in enthusiastic embrace.

It’s traditional Andy and Chris were with us just moments ago but are now unaccountably swimming half way to the pier.

It’s traditional that Hilary and I pick our way down the uneven slipway, carefully, on unseen feet in the swooshing water, and that we stand in the stuff, ankle deep, thigh deep, wobbling against the current, getting our balance, observing the onlooking gawpers observing us. And as we stand there reminding ourselves that we are, despite all indications to the contrary, doing this for fun, we observe that we must look like rank amateurs. We were doing this before the gawpers gawped, we are merely observing important tradition.

And it is now traditional that Laura makes trifle, and that the trifle is conveyed in a plastic washing basket. Traditions ought to look a little strange to the outsider, but such unlikely January beach-food is nonetheless celebratory and therefore perfectly apt. First footers bring a piece of coal; Laura brings trifle, and we bring bowls and spoons.

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